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The Problem with Pommel Juice by thwackcrackers, literature
Literature
The Problem with Pommel Juice
Constable Tommen sat patiently in the darkest corner of the dingiest tavern in the congested Shipping District of Antichore. This was his second year with the City Watch, and still trying to make a name for himself, he had finally received his long-waited opportunity. Antichore had evolved from its origins as a simple trading port, and was now becoming a booming hub of civilization. As such the City Watch was no longer able to handle the increasing demand for patrols in the now expanding city. They were now encouraged to enlist conscripts from the neighboring mercenary tribes.
Constable Tommen was awaiting such an ambassador. Sitting
The Picky Parrot - Limerick by ShimmeringDewdrops, literature
Literature
The Picky Parrot - Limerick
There once was a principled pirate
Who just couldn't stay on his diet
So he got a pet parrot
For each meal to share with
But though he offered; the bird rarely tried it
The Ambitious Seal - Limerick by ShimmeringDewdrops, literature
Literature
The Ambitious Seal - Limerick
There once was an ambitious seal
Who wished that he could take the wheel
But with his flippers clumsy and short
He couldn't get it to work
What were they thinking when they made the automobile!?
The Competitive Flamingo - Limerick by ShimmeringDewdrops, literature
Literature
The Competitive Flamingo - Limerick
There was a competitive flamingo
Who spent Summer days playing bingo
Whenever strangers would pass
He'd challenge them to a match
He was a bit of a blow-hard when he'd win though
Creatures Proposal - Pun Poem by ShimmeringDewdrops, literature
Literature
Creatures Proposal - Pun Poem
If I said I didn't CARIBOU you
Then I'd be a LION
'Cause I'm so happy you're HARE with me
That HYENA gonna leave you once you're mine
WARTHOG you I'd be lost
LIZARD you I'd be nothing
OSTRICH your arms out towards me
ANTELOPE with me, my darling
I could never want any OTTER
So let's do it, we might GAZELLE
There's KOALA places we could go
CAMEL way with me if you dare!
Let's be a PARROT hearts — inseparable
And AARDVARK on this adventure
LEOPARD of me is a part of you
So it's only right we should go together
DINGO and leave me crying
Look me in the eyes and say you MONKEY
And beneath the full of BABOON
We will not say our vows light
Limericks for St Patrick's Day by Jade-Pandora, literature
Literature
Limericks for St Patrick's Day
I'm wearin' the green don't ya know
Ye canna say that it don't show
I'm sportin' me bean'
And dyed the cat green
You pinch me, he'll throw th' first blow
There's not a dry eye in the pub
While singin' the songs that we love
And what a relief
We're havin' corned beef
'Tis better than hash, there's the rub
Today is the day for green beer
In tall frothy pints around here
St Paddy we toast
He's well loved, we boast
And so shall it be come next year